Sunday, 5 April 2015

Coming Out

lifestyle, blogging, should I share my blog, exposure, anxiety, insecurity, advice, 2015, coming out, worry, fear, youwishyou,

No, I'm not coming out as gay, but that title got your attention didn't it?! This post isn't about coming out as gay in the slightest (sorry ladies), but actually about 'coming out' as a blogger to people I know 'in real life'. A number of weeks ago a plucked up the courage to finally make a Facebook page for Youwishyou and posted about it on my personal Facebook account. When I actually made the Facebook page for my blog I never intended to actually publicize it to the people I have on my personal Facebook, but one night I read the above quote which struck a chord and just made me think, 'Fuck it,' and I did it. I didn't even think about it, I just did it. To be honest, I've not been so scared in a long time; my palms were sweating, my legs shaking and my tummy was in knots. It sounds ridiculous to be scared of such a thing but I feel like a lot of bloggers can relate as keeping our blogs hidden from our 'real lives' is something I know a lot of us do.

I worry about what people think of me. I know people say you shouldn't, and sometimes I pretend I don't, but I really, really do. I worry what goes through people's heads when I bring attention to myself and worst of all I worry what people say to each other. Maybe it's a stupid anxiety but I literally find myself worrying for hours if something I've said made myself look like an idiot or if I've said something to make someone angry at me; that's absolutely crazy, I know. This was undoubtedly holding me back from sharing my blog on my Facebook but in the end, in that sudden moment of courage my ultimate reason for exposing it outweighed my fear.

So, why did I do it? I still can half not believe I did it in that moment of blind bravery, but, the reason that I decided to 'come out' as it were was because, well, I'm proud of my blog. Over the year that I've been blogging, I've put so much work, time and just so much of myself into my blog and I feel like it's an absolutely massive part of my life. Obviously it's not the best it could be ever, but I am really proud of what it's become and I feel like to hide it was like hiding a part of myself. I was really put off by people seeing what I was writing on my blog about myself or actually just how I expressed myself in general because  I've never really expressed myself to half the people on my Facebook the way I do on my blog. It doesn't reflect the half hidden, blending into the wood work version of me that is on Facebook, but it reflects all of me which is a scary thought when you're worried about what people will think of you; Exposing my blog meant I was vulnerable as I was exposing myself. But, in all honesty I shouldn't of been scared of that because that's who I am! That's who I am and for the first time I'm okay with that and I'm not as scared anymore, which is cool. 

When I tweeted about 'the big reveal', so many other bloggers flooded me with support. Obviously! It was touching to have so many people behind me and we are honestly all so lucky to have such a supportive community behind us. I honestly feel like the blogging community could never let me down, but in the back of my mind, despite all the encouragement I was getting from everyone I was still terrified. They were telling me I'd get so much support, but all I could think was 'Um, no, I really wouldn't'. To be honest, I was surprised at the response I did get. Some people I thought would never pay interest in me as a person were supportive, but then some people I thought would be there backing we weren't - Oh well, it's just the way to cookie crumbles I guess. I think the people I didn't expect to support my blog were the ones that made me the happiest as seeing them give a damn, it just meant a lot to me; probably more than they realize. People liked my page, sent me personal messages saying they liked my blog and liked the posts on the page, all of which mean the absolute world to me. I half couldn't believe that it had any response at all, and it's all made me feel that little bit more confident in myself as well as really happy with the decision I made to share my blog. 

I will start to draw this babble to an end, but I think the main purpose of me sharing this all is to try to help others that feel like they are torn between wanting to share their blog and their insecurity about exposing it. I know what it's like to be afraid of being judged, and I think it's important to just remember that you should have faith in yourself and be proud of your blog; it's a part of you and you shouldn't hide yourself away, you should allow yourself to strive and shine. Of course I think then was the right time for me, and I feel like three months prior I wouldn't of been ready, so if you have a surge of courage act upon it, as that might be the right time for you and you don't want to miss it due to fear and worry. 

If I could tell myself anything in that moment that I decided to press 'share', I would of reassured myself that at the end of the day, I blog for myself and not anyone else. Whilst it means so much to me the support I have received, if I'd of got none, I'd of tried to not let it discourage me and remember that nothing has changed; I still have a blog I am proud of and a community and followers that support me. And even though I barely believed the bloggers that told me I'd be getting support, believe me, you'll be surprised at the positive response you'll get.

Like Youwishyou on Facebook here and be sure to leave the links to your Facebook page in a comment below so I can like them too!

SHARE:

18 comments

  1. I kept my blog a secret for ages too and now I think, why did I do that?! Like you I am proud of the work I've put into my blog and it's amazing how kind my friends and acquaintances who live near me have been. They've been so supportive and now a lot of them are regular readers :) Well done you on doing it! It takes a lot of guts but is worth it and you've done fantastically well so should be proud :) xx

    Jessie | allthingsbeautiful-x

    ReplyDelete
  2. I work with bloggers regularly so I often get embarrassed to say I write one too in case they think I'm just trying to get their attention. I've realised that they tend to find it themselves after a while anyway so I need to just be proud if what I write!
    Cx

    ReplyDelete
  3. I remember when I 'came out' as a blogger by creating a Facebook page too! Congrats, wait for your page views to go skyrocketing!

    X

    Anjelique

    www.anjelique.com.au

    ReplyDelete
  4. I kept mine a secret for a long time. Even had the name changed, a seperate IG account and everything. And like you one day I just thought fuck this. I work hard on creating posts and I love the support from the Blogging community. I made the transition. I still dont advertise that much on Facebook.. maybe I should?!

    Good luck and Well Done on the change 😊😊

    Www.amandabootes.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  5. your blog is amazing- if i was you id be telling everyone! you should be extremely proud :)
    Caroline xx
    www.seekingellejay.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  6. One of the realest posts about the topic I've ever read. So true, Catherine. I also find it hard to 'come out' as a blogger, that's why I never share my posts on my Facebook but I know I should be showing off rather than hiding!! I can share it with people face to face, but I struggle sharing it on my facebook. Your blog is great though so feel proud <3

    My Cup of Tea xx

    ReplyDelete
  7. There's around five people in this world that know I blog and I'm so scared for people to find out, I have no idea why! I love reading personal posts from bloggers, it's so refreshing - well done on "coming out"!
    cottonandcandie xx

    ReplyDelete
  8. I had my first blog two years ago and i didn't dare tell any of my friends about it. My newest blog was made to take more seriously and i though id just go for it and share it and I'm so glad I did! well don't to you for sharing this is an awesome blog and you should be proud of it!

    Aine Oh

    ReplyDelete
  9. Yes girl! I have yet to 'come out' as well. I have a separate twitter and I don't have a Facebook page for my blog/YouTube. I do have the same instagram, but I don't publicize my posts or videos on it. The only people from my 'real life' that know about my YouTube or blog are my friends. I do want to eventually come out, but not until I am in love with my blog and channel fully I think. Even though, people I'm not close friends with are slowly finding out about my blog and channel just by word of mouth. Who knows what the future holds. I might come out by the end of this year for all we know! You got my support though Catherine! :)

    Xo,
    Emily | EMBUR.

    ReplyDelete
  10. This was so inspirational! I've unfortunately done the opposite; I used to post my new blog posts on my personal fb but have now stopped only because of anxiety of what people think. Yet so many people mention it to me so they must be reading. My blog is new so I'm even more anxious about it but this inspired me to just not care anymore!

    Shazzashots.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you so much for writing this post! I recently made a FB page for my blog. I want to share my FB blog page to my personal FB contacts but I have been scared to - for all of the reasons you've described. I want to say I'm waiting for the right time, but I'm just kidding myself - there will never be a 'right time'. I just need to take the plunge right? This week. I'll do it this week. :D ;)

    Michelle -x-
    https://www.facebook.com/sugardustandstarlight?fref=ts
    www.sugardustandstarlight.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  12. This post is so great, literally exactly what I have been thinking. I have a separate Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for my blog, and they've never crossed over with my personal ones, for all the reasons you have mentioned above. Once day I will 'come out', but I think I would really like to perfect my blog and get it where I want to be before I do. Thanks for sharing this x

    emily x ❤ | emilyloula

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well done! I remember how hard it was making my blog public to my family and friends. In fact, I still feel uncomfortable when they try to strike up a conversation with me about it. But, there has been more support from them than expected so it was a good choice.

    https://joyfullantidotes.wordpress.com/

    ReplyDelete
  14. I remember when I told me dad about me blogging he was so proud he hugged me and now I try and post on my personal facebook often!

    I do agree that if something scares you it will probably be good for you I recently quit my job without having another job to go to but I was only out of work two days and was offered a new job! I loved this post! (saved it so I can re-read it whenever I need some encouragement)

    Hannah xx
    www.hannerking.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. Loved this post hunny and yes sometimes it feels so embarrassing to tell everyone that your a blogger but in real life it's so not::: ive finally started doing it at last:)

    Laura@ Liberty Loves Makeup

    ReplyDelete
  16. I love you gal and glad that you decided to share it, I know it's scary I felt the same way as people judge so much but you have an amazing blog so people wont have anything bad to say about it and if they do its because they are jel! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  17. I totally get this - for ages I never told any of my friends I had a blog just because I was scared of what people would think. I'm glad you finally decided to tell people xxx

    ReplyDelete
  18. I literally had the exact same experience when I released my blog to people who knew me, I was worried that people would judge me but really it was mostly support! GOOD FOR YOU!

    www.hannahjanewilliams.co.uk

    ReplyDelete

Blogger templates by pipdig